The Blah-king Dead – Walking Dead Recap – Episode 3.7 – When the Dead Come Knocking

Can we have a tragedy of errors? Because seriously, this is one of those things where everyone almost meets up and finds shit out, but doesn’t. Also we’re almost at the mid-season finale, so of course, all kinds of ish goes down. Let’s just start the blahking, shall we?

We open up on Glenn bound to a chair with Merle interrogating him. Merle is convinced that they’re all just a bunch of pussies who leave people behind and no one is coming for Glenn. Glenn is giving up nothing, and head-butts Merle for his troubles. This of course leads to Merle laying a severe beat down on Glenn while Maggie listens in the next room.

Over at the prison, Michonne has fully caught the attention of Rick and most of the other survivors, but not yet the walkers around her. Give it a second, yep they’re on to her now, she fights and faints, but not before she does this:

Astonishingly, it’s little, baby Carl who makes the call to help her as he starts picking of walkers, Rick is sort of resigned to join in. After they’ve got most of the walkers taken care of, Rick goes to her side and sees she’s been shot. The guys take her inside to the cell block common room and after some questioning, with Michonne’s typically chatty answers, or you know, no answers at all, Daryl bursts into the common room. He has something to show everyone, they lock Michonne in the common room and head into the cell block. Carol’s there! Daryl tells everyone that she fought her way into a cell and is dehydrated, but otherwise ok. It’s hugs all-around. When Beth hands Carol the baby, she realizes what must have happened to Lori and tearfully embraces Rick.

In Woodbury, Andrea and the Gov have just finished up when Milton comes in and tells him that Mr. Coleman is ready. With no other questioning or explanation, Andrea goes to help Milton. Man, give that lady a warm body and all of her higher reasoning skills go right on out the window don’t they. I haven’t wanted to punch Andrea this bad since she was screwing Shane.

Anyway, we’re about to find out that Mr. Coleman is a Woodbury citizen on his death bed. He’s volunteered to be part of an experiment that Milton is doing involving sense memory. Milton and Mr. Coleman and have repeated listened to music while having a little Q & A session and Milton wants to see if when Mr. Coleman reanimates he remembers anything. Andrea assures Milton that he’s not going to, that as soon as they remove the restraints, he’s going to lunge. Aaaand, she’s right. Score one for Andrea, knife through the head for Mr. Coleman and some soiled underpants for Milton.

Back at the prison, Michonne is finally doing a little talking. Telling the group that an asshole (Merle) kidnapped Glenn and Maggie, leaving behind the baby formula. She says that before he came upon them, she heard them talking about the prison and was able to figure out where it was, and that she can get them to Woodbury. She also explains that Woodbury is run by a creepazoid called the Governor, comparing him to Jim Jones. Beth, Axel and Oscar volunteer to go after them. Rick, understandably, takes Daryl and Oscar with him instead. While they’re loading the car, Rick acknowledges Carl’s new grown-up status, mentioning what he had to do to Lori and telling him to keep the group safe if Rick doesn’t return. Carl then tells Rick that Daryl’s been calling the baby Asskicker and asks if they can name her Judith after his 3rd grade teacher, instead. Judith is better than Asskicker, I guess. I also guess that Robert Kirkland’s nana was named Judith, it’s such an old lady name.

In the dungeon, Glenn is still refusing to give up the group’s location, even though he looks like this:

This gets Merle in enough of a tizzy to release a walker into Glenn’s interrogation room. Merle, in typical racist, asshat fashion, tells Glenn that the walker will probably just be hungry again in an hour. Glenn proceeds to bust apart his chair and kill the walker, just for good measure.

The Governor, Merle and Henchman #3 Caesar (Jose Pablo Castillo) discuss Glenn’s refusal to cooperate and general badassery. Caesar thinks he could be useful. The Governor just wants to know if Merle has questioned Maggie yet. Merle was just about to, but the Governor wants to do it himself. Oh, hey, now’s the time in the show where everyone gets to be extremely squicked out! Cause the Governor’s plan is basically to use every woman’s worst fear (other than death or possibly the death of their children) and go all sexual violence on her. He makes her strip off her shirt and bra, then bends her over the table. When Maggie won’t cave, he decides to not rape her, thankfully. He does, however, take her shirtless-ness on over to Glenn’s holding room and  point a gun in Glenn’s face. He demands answers, Glenn just steps into the barrel and tells him to get on with it. Maggie isn’t so stoic, she blurts out that everyone is at the prison and finally collapses into Glenn’s arms.

But, oh ho! Everyone isn’t at the prison. Michonne, Rick, Oscar and Daryl are on their way to Woodbury. On the way they meet up with some walkers and find a weird hobo hiding with his dead dog in a barn-ish building. The guy won’t shut up, so Michonne stabs him. The walkers are outside, clawing at the door, thanks to Weird Hobo’s mouth, they have a convenient corpse to toss out the door. It’s kind of like throwing a juicy T-bone to a guard dog, kind of.

They run out the back and slip by the walkers while they’re otherwise engaged. This whole business just clarifies how not ready The Governor, Merle and his six or seven inept henchmen are for an attack by our survivors. Even with Andrea’s help, as soon as she realizes who they are and what’s up, she won’t be in the fight. Merle might not either, with Daryl there. Anywhoozle, The Four Horsepeople of Woodbury’s Apocalypse have rolled up outside and are checking out the walls, Michonne tells them that she can get in.

Inside of those walls, the Governor is giving Merle a talking to, wondering how his brother and 9 other survivors could have cleared the whole prison when Merle said it couldn’t be done. I can’t wait to see the Gov’s face when he finds out that the group included a kid, a pregnant lady, a senior citizen and Beth, that’ll be priceless. I bet he’s beginning to regret, just a touch, dispatching every other fighter he’s come across. He sends Merle and Caesar out to survail the prison. In his apartment, Andrea returns and pours herself a drink, telling him that Mr. Coleman died and Milton was wrong. As she enters his arms, he whispers that it’s alright and all over now. For serious, if Andrea wasn’t so blinded by his wang, she could take him out a thousand times, she’s way, way tougher than this and it’s starting to really piss me off.

But, that’s our episode for this week folks! Join is next week when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan. Should be awesome!

 

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