Because I’m a stellar cousin, who you should all want to be related to, I was on my way back from Chuck E. muthereffin’ Cheese while Girls was airing last night. I also had too much fun on Saturday night and was up until just about 7 am, that combined with the emotionally draining experience at the Cheese, had me pooped! Also, there was a guy with teardrop face tattoos and a grim reaper neck tat playing the only shooter at Mr. Cheese’s Fun Palace. He didn’t appear to be with any children. I just needed to share that. I did, however, get this:
More accurate than it ought to be for a randomly assigned toy prize.
All that being said, I didn’t get to watch Girls last night, so I’m going to try something different. Live blogging! New experiences! Right? We’ll see.
So, at the behest of my dearest, oldest friend Sara, I’m starting this Girls recap thing, even though come February, I’ll be tackling this and The Blah-King Dead. I do these things because I love you all. Don’t make me hurt you, or myself.
Just in case anyone forgot, last season, we met Hannah (Lena Dunham) and the other girls. Hannah is an aspiring writer, who got cut off by her parents, had to make it in the real world, found out she got HPV from her gay ex-boyfriend, had a creepy boss, had a main hook-up Adam who eventually fell all sorts of hard for her and got hit by a truck. Marnie (Allison Wilson) is Hannah’s up-tight best friend and does something or other at an art gallery, last season she dumped her longtime bf, got hit on by Jorma Taccone, and masturbated in her office. Jessa (Jemima Kirke) was bohemian, nearly had an abortion, almost had an affair with her nanny boss and actually, impulsively married Chris O’Dowd (who wouldn’t). Finally, Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet), who is Jessa’s cousin, was hilariously clueless, accidentally smoked crack, and was deflowered by Gross Ray. Are we all up to speed now? Okay let’s get on with the recapping, after the cut…