Game of Thrones Recap Spectacular! – Beyond The Wall

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6

People in Westeros should know by now…. don’t go looking for trouble, because trouble gonna find you. And that, my friends, is what happened during this week’s emotionally draining episode.

Yes, I was exhausted after… mostly because I thought just about everyone was going to die at various points…. but before I get all spoilery, let’s move this conversation to after the jump.

 

Es: A bit of an odd episode this week, in that it was long (Jim’s Note: That’s what she said), but really only was in three basic locations (Jim’s Note: That’s ALSO what she said), and there was really only a few minutes spent on Dragonstone (Lacey’s Note: That’s what she says far too often.)… so that left Winterfell, and, of course, Eastwatch / BEYOND THE WALL! DUN DUN DUUUUN!

Before I get into that, however, I’d like to talk about Jim’s favorite thing…. the opening credits.

Jim, did you notice there is still a Baratheon stag on King’s Landing and not a lion? What up with that, Jim? Also, why are they still going to Oldtown when Silly bounced up out of there? What’s going on there, Jim??

(Lacey, please feel free to answer as well if you have any thoughts on the matter and you feel so inclined. The above was merely an attempt to taunt Jim. And since he never reads things in parenthesis, he’ll be none the wiser to my ruse.)

Annnnyway… where to start, where to start? Hmm… let’s go BEYOND THE WALL! DUN DUN DUUUUN! for some of the lead-up action to the big finish, then we can dive into that later.

DHTGGonU0AAlUJD.jpg largeSo, we immediately find out why they brought Gendry back… he’s someone to kick around a little bit. The first person fucking with him was Tormund, who SHONE like only he can in this episode. Then The Hound basically tells Gendry to shut the fuck up… much to the appreciation of Beric and Thoros I would imagine.

We then get a series of scenes scattered throughout… First, Jon and Jorah talking about the old man’s old man and Jon offering to give him Longclaw since it’s the Mormont family sword. (Btdubs… as Jim astutely pointed out last week, Jorah was digging on the “Skywalker Return of the Jedi Black collection” and this week the dude was totally channeling Han Solo’s Hoth ensemble, but I digress.)

Next we have Jon getting in some bro time with Beric by….. bonding over…. being…. dead and coming back to life… and all…. and… ummmmm….

Then we find out that The Hound doesn’t like Gingers… Weasley family beware!! Oh wait… wrong fictional universe. And then Tormund fucks with him, and then they have the conversation about Brienne, which was EVERYTHING!

And lastly for this part of the recap… A bear there was, a bear, a bear!

Out of nowhere our boys get attacked by a mother fucking ZOMBEAR!!! that takes out one or two redshirts, then gets set on fire, which immobilizes The Hound, meaning that Thoros has to come and save his life, and winds up getting mauled for it.

This was the first time I felt like this episode was channeling Quint’s demise from Jaws where he’s getting chomped on while screaming. And it’s just fucking AWFUL to watch. Thankfully Jorah Mormont…. from Bear Island… stabs the ZOMBEAR!!! in it’s dome, which brings it down.

And shit… did I just spoil Jaws for someone? The movie’s only like 40 years old, so if you haven’t seen it by now, I mean, c’mon….my bad?

Anyway, my questions here…

Were they giving Gendry too much of a hard time, or is he as stupid as Tormund thinks and/or as whiny of a fucker as The Hound thinks? How did Jon know he was the fastest when he eventually sends him back to The Wall for help? Like, did they all race each other at Eastwatch?

And speaking of being at Eastwatch… couldn’t Jon have offered Jorah Longclaw, you know, while they were safe(ish) in the castle and without an imminent threat looming that YOUR PARTICULAR SWORD can defeat? Did you find the timing as strange as I did? Did you find this scene touching? (I did…. slightly.) Did you think, or do you think, that Jorah is now close to death because he’s actually starting to make GOOD decisions? I mean, leaving the sword with Jon was a good decision, right?

I will also take any and all comments about the potential great, big monster babies that Tormund and Brienne could have, and if they would indeed conquer the world.

Jim: I don’t appreciate your ruse, ma’am. Your cunning attempt to trick me has failed. If I had to guess, and I do have to because you brought it up, I would say that Oldtown is still in the credits after Silly vamoosed because they are currently in transit and we haven’t seen where they will end up yet. As for the stag on King’s Landing, Cersei is still technically a Baratheon through marriage, even though Robert is in hog heaven, right? Either way, I think the sigil should change to that banjo-playing creep from Deliverance in honor of Cersei’s twincest abomination pregnancy.

Gendry was simply the new guy and you always pick on the new guy. He was also the fastest because he and his new BBF Jon probably chatted about his sweet rowing workout program. Or because all the others are old compared to Jon & Gendry and we knew Jon wasn’t going anywhere, and neither were the redshirts cuz, well, we needed cannon fodder. It was all process of elimination.Gendry

Side note, because I saw the new Jeremy Renner film Wind River just yesterday, I now know Gendry’s run in the cold was impossible cuz running in those conditions would’ve caused him to suck in too much cold air, which would crystalize in his lungs and make him cough up blood, eventually killing him way before he made it to Castle Black. And as we all know, one should ALWAYS bank on medical advice from a Jeremy Renner movie.

I had initially thought there was no way Jorah, or Jorgon, as my sister refers to him, had any chance of returning from this mission. But now that I think about it, Jorah’s particular character arc requires him to be around at least long enough to witness his precious Khaleesi fall in love with her nephew. He’s still paying for the shame he brought on House Mormont and his penance is losing out to any and all rivals for Dany’s affections.

As for the Tormund/Brienne thing, I paraphrase the words of my girl Mindy Kaling: “Find you someone that talks about you the way Tormund talks about Brienne of Tarth.”

Lacey: Es, your ruse failed. It’s all over, pack in your rusing forever. Nary a ruse shall pass the eyeballs of James J. Hartman, 43rd Greatest American, 17th Greatest Pole, Funkatron, he is too cunning for any ruse, parenthetical or otherwise.

I was personally not paying attention to the opening credits, because I was drinking wine, red, lots of it. So, I’ll assume that they left Oldtown in because there is wine there. The Baratheon stag is still in King’s Landing because he was a drunkard. Both were a warning to me that I am no longer young enough to drink Rex Goliath wines without a wicked hangover.

Gendry’s young, and pretty, and mildly whiny (or whingy, if you will) and, as any practiced shit talker can tell you, an easy fucking target. He’s looking to prove himself among a group of dudes who have collectively seen it all. Two of them have died and been reborn, one almost died of greyscale, one’s brother shoved his face in a fire, and Tormund is my actual favorite human, real or imaginary, so there is no proving yourself, there is only surviving. Speaking of, how perceptive is Tormund, with his “sad eyes” comment to the Hound?

To piggyback on Jim’s Jeremy Renner paradox, I, as a born northerner, who has now lived in the south for half a decade, would like to point out that there is no way his Southron blood could handle being in that level of cold. The temperature drops below 50 and I’m a shivering, whiny mess. No way he’s running that far, in that amount of cold. And how did Jon know he was the fastest? That’s easy, a small plot hole told him.

Jon was raised by Ned Stark. I will never find the timing of any weird, honorable gesture he makes suspect.

ZOMBEARS, I thought the first one was Ghost for a second, and seriously, where the in the name of every one of the seven is Ghost?

Ugh, Tormund and Brienne and their beautiful, giant babies! Why can’t the GoT guys make that spin off instead of bating controversy with this ridiculous, problematic Confederate business? Because for realsies, The Giantsbane Bunch is a show I would watch the shit out of.

Tormund 1Es: At Winterfell…. I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

First Arya is all like, “Father used to watch us from here…”, then girlfriend is all like, “You helped kill him… what up with this letter, yo?” Then Sansa’s like, “I was only a kid” and Arya says she would have never done that when she was a kid…. and, actually, she has a point there… she wouldn’t have. (Though she probably would have died.)

Then Sansa is like, “Don’t even, because I got Winterfell back!” and SHE has a point here.

Arya then starts talking to Sansa about her fear, AND brings Lyanna Mormont into the conversation, which just kind of blows up Sansa’s “I was just a kid” argument.

Then Sansa meets with Littlefinger to discuss the letter that he himself fished out of the Winterfell archives. Littlefinger does that Littlefinger thing he does where he talks up someone (saying Arya wouldn’t betray her family), then starts scheming…….er….talking about Brienne either protecting Sansa or killing Arya… or something like that.

Sansa then proceeds to……..send…… Brienne…… away??

Um… WHAT?

AND she’s kind of an ass to her in the process.

What the fuck?

Then, after she makes this critical error of sending her best protector away AGAIN, she makes another critical error in snooping around her creepy and super-stealthy kid sister’s room.

And she finds her hidden bag.

Of faces.

And then, Arya wants them to play the Game of Faces, and asks Sansa how she feels about Jon being king. Sansa refuses to answer and keeps asking about the severed faces… and that’s a big point for her in the debate between sisters, because really, a bag of faces raises ALL of the most immediate concerns.

THEN Arya starts getting super menacing and basically threatens Sansa before handing her her dagger.

So, firstly, what the FUCK is going on here? Do you like where this storyline is going? WHERE is this storyline going? Are they duping Littlefinger, as some on the webbernetz seem to think? And what’s my girl Arya’s deal… is she just like trying to prove a point or something with threatening Sansa? And what is UP with Sansa in that she seems to bring out this all-encompassing need in people to be horrible to her? I mean, granted, she has dealt with some MEGA-shits in terms of the people she’s been exposed to, but now this is her sister, basically threatening her and making her feel unsafe in her own home and surrounded by people who serve her.

Who is right in this argument? I mean, should Sansa NOT have written that letter? Is Arya too black and white about it all? (pun intended) Where is their near-omniscient brother here? Do you think he could…I don’t know….maybe help out in some way? Was Sansa’s arrogance in sending Brienne away her own undoing here? Is this the ultimate kid-sister revenge for snooping in her room?

“That’ll learn you for snoopin’ in mah room and messin’ with mah faces!”

Please, explain some of this to me!?

Jim: If this series ends with Arya fashioning a Sansa skin suit, I think we’d all walk away a tad surprised. I too am feeling slightly confused about what’s going on with this storyline.

If they are duping Littlefinger then none of these conversations they are having make any sense because he isn’t privy to any of them. My best guess is that Arya isn’t being played by Littlefinger, I think she knows he intended for her to find it but she is also genuinely pissed that Sansa buckled and wrote that note. They were always at odds when they were young and Arya was always super-close with Ned, which was reenforced by that story she told about him. And we have to remember Ned’s beheading was the formative moment that set her on the path to becoming the killing machine she is now.

DHJHqe9XoAIko05If I’m remembering correctly, Sansa sent Brienne away before Arya threatened to take her Face/Off. If so, my thought was that she was removing Brienne from the equation so if Littlefinger instigates an incident, like it seems he wants to, then Arya wouldn’t be killed. Cuz I have to think that Sansa believes Brienne would whoop her ass in a real fight, regardless of what happened when sparring. She’s not completely up to speed on just how dangerous Arya has become. However, after finding her SACK O’ FACES, I have to think that opinion has changed.

And yeah, the Three-Eyed Raven could probably help mediate a LOT of these issues but he’s too busy being a creep in his room. I never know what he’s doing back there.

Lacey: Sooo, Arya’s whole argument about Sansa serving the Lannisters and how she would never, ever serve the Lannisters, child or no, is buh-hull-uh-shit. May I bring you back to Season 2, where Arya was literally serving Tywin Lannister? Like pouring his wine as Arry, before going to sleep on a pallet each night reciting her little list of names. See also: Finger, Little.

[Es: Not to be like an Arya apologist or anything (which you all know I most certainly am), but I believe her argument was not about serving the Lannisters but about betraying her family. I think there’s a difference between pouring wine for a guy, finding out how he thinks, and gathering information (and she DID eventually want to kill him, but alas, too late) vs. telling her brother that their dad conspired against the king and that Robb should come to King’s Landing to kneel… and possibly get himself killed in the process…. but, as I mentioned, I’m obviously biased.]

arya servingAnd, they’re retconning Sansa’s reactions surrounding Ned’s death, which were not complacent, nor idle, she was being held back by a member of the King’s Guard, while screaming for someone to stop them. Even Cersei didn’t want Ned dead, that was all Joffery’s doing, everyone else thought he’d be taking the Black. So, those are things.

Also, if you find out your little sister has a bag of faces under her bed, and she’s really, really pissed at you, don’t send away your sworn protector, Sansa. Maybe be like, “Hey, Brienne of Tarth, my little sister’s got a bag of fucking faces under her bed.”

Also, where, for even a minute does Arya get off basically accusing Sansa of trying to overthrow Jon? Sansa had done nothing but support him, publicly and privately. Who could be left in that situation and not have at least some private thoughts about what they’d do better? This holier than thou, self-righteous Arya is not my favorite Arya. It’s like, I want her to be a BAMF, but I don’t need whatever she’s doing now unless it’s specifically to play Littlefinger. And, I don’t know if they’re playing Littlefinger. Maybe they assume his little birds are everywhere. But, Sophie Turner, aka Sansa Stark, did tweet “Treacherous is a nice word.” a few days ago, and I always trust mildly spoilerly celebrity tweets.*

Finally, I’m not sure where it’s going. I’m not sure the writers know what to do here. It’s also kind of clear that there hasn’t been a female writer in the Game of Thrones writing room since season 2 when Vanessa Taylor left to adapt the Divergent series, and I don’t want to talk about that. (Okay, it was terrible.) While a woman may play head games with and freeze out a dude, women relate to each other completely differently, especially a sister. Passive aggression is a thing that happens, sure, but it usually leads to yelling, then communication…we get. that. shit. out. We air the grievances, so to speak. The homeboys in the writers room couldn’t call up Jane Espensen, as much as I find her the weakest Buffy link, and see if she’s available to talk about some complex relationships between women? Once Upon a Time has to basically be running itself by now. This shit is bothering me, sorry, not sorry. (Also, I’m officially nominating Demi Lovato’s Sorry, Not Sorry for song of the summer.)

*Add this to the list of things I’ve said that would have made my grandmother think I was having a stroke, because it made no sense 15 years ago.

arya sansa

Es: And now…. now we come to the Battle of Zombie Lake (as I am now apparently calling it).

Fuck. I don’t even know where to start here, so lemme just say this…

From the end of Season 1 when the dragons were born, it was just like…. okay, and now the wait begins for Zombies vs. Dragons.

And we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And then….this episode… it finally happens.

Holy.

Shit.

I mean, the stupidness aside of…

a) Undertaking such a needless and fairly hopeless undertaking,

b) Not using horses, and

c) Pinning your only hope for survival on a woman and her dragons who are thousands of miles away and who may or may not show up to help…. but she can somehow miraculously cover that distance if she did decide to

… it was pretty fucking awesome.

05135c9f9eab97ef20e8032747069852I’m not usually one for spectacle over substance, especially when it’s THIS egregious and is centered around what I thought was just some laaaaaaazy writing, but this was fucking Zombies vs. Dragons!!!! I’ve been waiting like six years for this shit on the show…. and even longer if you take the books into account… like a good 17 years or so!

Fuck.

Zombies vs. Dragons.

It was amazing.

And I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating… the visual effects people on this show… are there any better? I mean this is high-grade, cinema-quality shit. I mean, the dragons alone….

Ugh… and how fucking horrific was it to watch a dragon die???

It was just about as much as I was horrified when I thought Tormund was done… in what I thought was the second Quint moment of the night…. he’s literally going leg-first into his demise, and screaming the whole way. Damn… if he would have gone out like that, it would have been one of the most upsetting deaths on the show. You often don’t see a hero get a horrible horrible death like that, and I wouldn’t put it past this show, but if you’re not going to do it in THIS episode, when WOULD you do it?! I mean, given the situation here, you have carte blanche to pretty much kill off whomever the fuck you wanted to with the exception of Jon… though they teased shit out of that too.

And speaking of that… what is up with what I am calling his Magic Hero Pose™. You know the one… he grips his sword with two hands and holds it by his head. Like when the cavalry was charging him in the Battle of the Bastards and right before they get to him, all his troops get to the cavalry to save him… and here, where they give us the All-Is-Lost slow-motion moment with Jon, then he goes into Magic Hero Pose™, and violá! Dragons! Here to save his stupid ass.

I mean, here’s my first question… Jon is pretty stupid, right? Or are the writers just making him out to be some “WE HAVE TO DO THIS NOW!!” type of fool who throws ANY and ALL caution to the wind and only survives by pure luck alone… except, you know, when he gets stabbed repeatedly by his own men and legit dies?

Seriously, rank these in terms of smarts… Ed, Robb, Jon.

Secondly, do you think this show is getting afraid to kill people? Were you expecting more of them to die (I was… I thought like three of them… maybe)? Did the dragon’s death (I believe it was Viserion, which makes sense with the other one being named after Jon’s dad and all) surprise you? Were you as horrified as I was about it? Were you as mad with glee as I was when the dragons first showed up? Do you feel bad that the dragon’s death wound up overshadowing Thoros’? Do you think a more major character should have died? I mean a dragon dying is PRETTY fucking big, but as far as the dragons go, Drogon was the main character, and Viserion and Rhaegal were almost afterthoughts for a while.

Also, did ZOMBEAR!!! adequately set you up for the horrifying zombie dragon reveal at the end? And shit, that really puts to bed ALL THE THEORIES about who the third dragon rider is going to be. And how about that tease with Jon JUST ABOUT to get on a dragon??

Lastly, were you okay with, as I’m seeing it called on the interwebz today, the Benjen-ex machina? It’s like he showed up and was all like, “See? You should have brought a fucking horse. Now I’m gonna stay behind and die because reasons.”

And, of course, share any and all thoughts about anything else you’d like to mention, as I’m sure I missed a dozen things.

Jim: Jon is the poster child for the nurture side of the Nature vs Nurture debate cuz he sure as fuck takes after all the bad decision makers that nurtured him.

I was enjoying the shit out of this ill-advised trek beyond The Wall, right up until the moment Tormund was being dragged into the fargin’ icehole. That’s when it became a roller coaster of emotion, which featured several “don’t you dare’s,” a couple “wow’s,” and one “arms raised in a V” like King Jeremy the Wicked when Uncle Benjen rode in swinging his great ball of fire.

Speaking of Benjen staying behind, I took that less as there really is no time and more of he’s tired of this cursed, solitary life. In a show filled with people who believe they need to serve a purpose, perhaps Benjen was the only one aware enough to realize his purpose was to save his family – first Bran, then Jon – and now his watch has ended.

benjenA quick list of all the moments that stood out to me:

  • I’m a huge fan of Jon’s Magic Hero Pose but Beric’s Fire pose is a close second.
  • The Hound chucking rocks at the army of the dead and his second throw sliding across the frozen water was a great way to say “Game On!”
  • The Hound turning around when they were going to light Thoros on fire is a great detail.
  • The shot of Jon crouching down while Drogon spit fire overhead was gorgeous.
  • The editing and cinematography of Viserion going down in flames while all the characters watch, mouths agape, was phenomenal.
  • Bitch, where’d they get them chains? Either way, the Night King is a motherfuckin’ force to be reckoned with and now has a zombie dragon.

I think we all agree, given his lineage, that Jon is gonna ride one of these dragons at some point. When he was caught alone and told Dany to leave without him, my first thought was where was the 3rd dragon? Did he see his brother go down was all like “Fuck that noize, I’m audi?” Anyway, my thought right after that was wouldn’t it be fucking amazing if Jon jumped on the other dragon before thinking too hard about it and rode it outta there, finally bringing the Targaryens together!

But the more I thought about it, I guess it would’ve stepped on the emotional heft of Viserion’s death to be followed so closely by such a rousing moment. Guess we’ll have to keep waiting for that moment to happen.

night kingLacey: In order, from dumbest to smartest, Ned, Robb, Jon, Dolorous Edd.

Other thoughts, both related to and not related to your questions:

  • When Viserion went down, I, of course was sad, I also yelled, “Of course it’s the one named for her piece of shit brother.”
  • I watched the majority of the sequence with Tormund with one hand over my mouth, and the other clutching the knee of my friend Kevin. We have not yet spoken of this. I also said, Es, if you’ll recall when we went to see Episode III at the Woodhaven AMC on opening day, “Not Tormund Giantsbane.” in the same sad, reverent, scared little girl whisper, as I said “No, not the Younglings.” There was that much feeling behind it. I love Tormund Giantsbane. I love him. [Es: I do remember, vividly, as much as I share your love of Tormund.]
  • I’m fine with Benjen showing up, he’s been basically waiting around North of the Wall, since the preface of the first book, for something heroic to do, saving Jon with a censor, from the days of the Catholic church ruling the North, I guess, was it.
  • Even one of the writers has admitted that they fudged the fuck out of the time it would have taken for Gendry to run to Eastwatch, wake up from being passed out, say, “Btdubs, can you send a raven to Dany or we’re all totes dead.”, for Dany to get the raven, badass coat-up and hop on Drogon to head North, actually arrive to the exact site of the battle and save the day, so I guess I’ll continue to suspend my disbelief because this shit is otherwise that good. I don’t care if it’s one of my main plot arguments with one or more of the Transformers movies.
  • Thoros, while more of a player in the books, does not really strike a chord with the average series viewer, as the series viewers I watched with were like, “Oh, no, one of the flaming sword guys is dead.” He was basically a step up and to the left from the cannon fodder we saw bite it.
  • No one I was with got my “red shirts” references, but I was dealing with Star Wars people born after 1985.
  • Hey, the Hound, taunting the fucking zombies is a bad call. Always.
  • The Night King got the giant chains at the giant chain sale at the Eastwatch Home Depot. (Thank you, Nerdist.)

nk home depotRegardless, the whole thing was pretty dope. It was emotional and epic and I actually told someone to “be quiet, because Jon Snow might be fucking dead right now, and that’s really important.” This show is basically my hour a week break from the complete insanity of the world right now. Well, it and all of the other supernatural/costume dramas I’ve been watching. Please someone, recommend me another BBC corset drama to take my mind of off 2017, thank you.

Tormund 2Es: Lastly this week, we come to all things Dany… er… um… Not Dany.

Who was the last person to call you Dany?? Bish, we call you Dany every. f’n. WEEK.

And, actually, I think Jorah was the last person to call her Dany on the show, but I might be wrong about that.cZqMAwk9She has a conversation with Tyrion where she tells him she likes him because he’s not a hero. Then Tyrion gets a bug up his ass about the line of succession and how she has to have an heir. I don’t think he’s in the wrong here, but mayhaps wrong timing?

Not Dany eventually flies north, loses one of her kids, saves the team, then goes back to The Wall…. to wait for Jon? Is that what she’s doing here?

Side note: Not Dany on top of The Wall…. nerdgasm.

Jon shows back up on a horse…. thanks, Uncle Benji!…. and next we find them on a mother fucking boat (flippy floppies). Jon wakes up from his coma and the first thing the dude says is that he’s sorry for her loss… and we all collectively swoon as Not Dany turns into puddles, because seriously…. nothing about how he almost died…. AGAIN. Nothing about him at all… just all about her and her pain.

Maybe he’s not so stupid after all…. I wish the writers would decide, though. Fuck.

Annnyhoo…. Jon and Not Dany have a moment… and then maybe she starts to feel all icky or something, because she gives him the ol’, “You should get some rest,” and ducks out leaving him alone….. maybe to rub one out….to his aunt? Idk…

Anyway… Questions!

Is Tyrion thinkng too far ahead?

Your thoughts on Jon “kneeling”?

And, finally, are you pulling for these two crazy kids to get together and make a go of it, actively cheering against it, or ambivalent towards it all. Please show your work.

Jim: I was under the impression there would be no math…but I believe the equation you were looking for was:

Boat(Flippy Floppies) + Jon’s Abs = Not Dany’s Puddle.

Not Dany needs to get her shit together and just decide she’s gonna trust Tyrion and not fly off the handle every time he speaks about a topic she doesn’t like. Perhaps it was bad timing on his part but I have become emotionally attached to Tyrion and if/when he dies I may punch the TV.

The Pride (In the Name Of Kneeling) speech Tormund gave Jon makes a lot of sense but I also thought it seemed way out of character for a wildling. Perhaps maybe not that particular wildling, but still. As if he needed a reminder or something, seeing the Night King bring down that dragon scared Jon, and realizing just what Not Dany lost made him see that WHATEVER needs to be done to unify must be done.

I got my ticket and I’m on board the Aunty Not Dany/Nephew Jonny incest love train mainly cuz I’m a creep…and if the article I read about the top search terms on PornHub is true, the rest of the world is a bit creepy too.

DHv0sqnWAAA5GFl.jpg largeLacey: The thing is, Jon’s not stupid, he’s a hero. Hence the whole Dany/Tyrion conversation. Heroes rush in. Heroes are impetuous. Heroes get themselves killed trying to save the day by action instead of thought. Tyrion is a thinker. He makes a plan. Dany may be the best of both things, a heroic woman. She’ll take action, but only after she’s considered it. She thinks for at least half a second before rushing off to save the day.

Oh, honey, you know that when Dany sees something she wants, she gets it, whether it’s the freedom of the people of Slaver’s Bay, a Dothroki horde, or the King in the North. She’s gonna get her some nephew action. I’m going to bet that the only kneeling Jon Snow’s going to have to do is going to remind of us the time he spent in a cave with Ygritte, if you catch my meaning. Because Dany also doesn’t move slow, this is an alliance and a marriage that secures a line of succession, *cough* Tyrion *cough*, because Jon has a family of badasses all lined up. Also, Dany hasn’t gotten any since last we saw Daaaaaaaaaario, so it’s about damn time.

8 inches

 

And with that, dear reader, we are OUT. As always, thanks for reading, and we hope to see you next week for the finale! Until then…

jon 2

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